“Don’t cry, you are strong”

Humans are blessed with different emotions. Most welcomed and admired emotion is happiness. It reflects confidence, security, and success. And this is a reason why people get attracted to happy individual. The opposite pole of happiness is sadness which is least acceptable form of all emotions. We are most tend to welcome the expression of happiness like smiling and cheering up. If we are happy, we can’t stop our self from laughing. Happiness is magnetic, therapeutic and a way of gaining life satisfaction. No one can deny the immense and innumerable upshot of happiness. But as I said, humans are blessed with different emotions.

Let’s talk about sadness. It has equal relevance as happiness. But we do ignore it, consider it as a weakness and never appreciate it. When someone is sad, other people don’t enjoy their company and ignore them. In happiness we smile and expression of sadness is crying. We think that people who are crying are weak, unstable and can’t deal with their life problems. But it’s as therapeutic as smile, it provides solace and gives relaxation.

One fine evening, I was playing with my kids. Mentally active, cheered up and relaxed (as people perceived it). But inside my brain it was a dark storm. The reason was not that I was shattered or broken. It was just a tiredness due to the occurrence of various events. I called my closest one and started crying. The moment I started to cry, here came a big statement. A statement which stopped my emotion’s flow, my healing mechanism and a natural behavior. Do you want to know what that was? “You are a strong woman don’t cry”. After this simple statement I wasn’t able to cry, even in the front of my close friend. But somewhere inside me I was craving to cry, wanted to cry badly and venting out everything with the tears.

It takes courage to cry

Generally we all think that the weak people cry. But trust me it takes courage to cry. Just think once, crying is the true and inner emotion. Is it easy to show the real you or how you feel from inside? Crying is an expression, an expression of how you feel just like we show our love, anger, and happiness. How would one feel if they are stopped from showing love or happiness? So all emotions have its own relevance. What could be better than to show and feel the real you?

In research it has been showed that crying plays a significant role in channelizing our emotions and soothing us. Beside this it also releases oxytocin and endorphins which are responsible to make people feel good and may also ease both physical and emotional pain. It’s a mechanism of wellbeing. It provide us soothing effect and help us to get support from friends and family. It’s a well proved mechanism to release stress. Stress affect our ability of thinking rationally and decision making. This is the reason why we cannot make good decision when we are stressed out. Crying has the ability to release stress and as a result individual will be more capable of thinking rationally and logically. Isn’t it seems that crying is a therapy to regain your lost positivity?

The closed bottle

Closing back any unneeded emotion will never help us to gain a new and desired one. One more notion is very common in our society. “Men do not cry”.But why? If they can make love, if they can show happiness and anger, why can’t they cry? They are the one who are managing work, home, finances, kids, family concern, job concern and thousands of such things. While managing all these things some time even they may feel low and sad. But unfortunately with such a notion they won’t be able to cry thus they stop themselves from achieving numerous upside of crying. It doesn’t stop here. Because they are not opening the cap of the bottle after a certain time, it becomes intolerable for them to cope up with the life situation. It may result in some extremely unwanted situation ranging from mental and physical health issues to suicide. Yes, you heard it right.

Rate of suicide is much higher in male than in females. The reason is very simple. Being a man they are supposed to be fill with strength and energy (fuel) to drive the life. While driving they may run out of the fuel too. That’s very normal to be out of energy and strength for anyone. Then why can’t they be out of the fuel. Even the Lamborghini Veneno car may also run out of the fuel, but then we should not raise the finger on its capabilities. We need to refill the fuel. They also need to refill their fuel. It’s okay to be week and cry for them too. Let them be out of the fuel. Let them cry. Accept them when they are shattered, broken, failure and sad. It can happen to anyone. Let them express how they are feeling.

Let me cry, please

Everyone has some ups and downs in life. Sometimes things aren’t going like we planned, sometimes a serious life event and sometimes it’s just few old memories which makes us cry. But in all these situation weakness isn’t mentioned and reasoned. I was crying because I wanted to cry, because I wanted to vent out my closed emotions, because I wanted to freshen up my brain. Just think about the impact of an unintentionally made simple statement “Don’t cry, you are strong”. Please let me cry. No one should stop the flow of a natural emotion. Everyone can cry and should cry. It’s as needed as smiling. OK, let’s do an experiment, take a bottle and fill it up with the water. Keep it aside for days. What do you think what going to happen? After a certain time period, the water will rotten and smells bad. If we want fresh water, we should keep changing it. Similarly, if we want to absorb new emotions and positivity then we have to vent out existing unneeded emotions. Like water if we don’t empty it frequently then it’s going to spoil the other emotions. One more thing, is it possible to refill bottle without opening it. No, it’s not. You have to open it. Yes, now we are on right path. If we want to accommodate new emotions and positivity then we need to open the lid and this is what called as venting out the emotions.

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.” ~ Washington Irving

“I want to cry, it helps me to feel more positive and connected”