Signs of an Incompatible Relationship
There are times when a relationship begins to feel like a burden and makes you mull over its future. A healthy union should fill you up with energy, rather than draining it. So if the seeds of discontent are taking shape in your mind, making you question your compatibility, read the below signs that can affirm your suspicions.
1. You talk a little less
Communication is vital for healthy relationships. In the early stages of relationship when everything was hunky-dory, recollect how you were glued to the phone for hours, or the time spent in cafes dreaming and discussing the future. Do you still talk to each other the same way? Has it reduced to a transactional level and phone calls have turned to texts, and there is not much face to face communication? If you two can sit in a room and have nothing to talk about, then definitely the fire has reduced to embers. Both of you need to work on reviving the relationship by taking new challenges, interests, activities, and sort out the differences. However, if one or neither of you wishes to reignite the fire, then your relationship is headed to a certain doom.
2. You love a little less
Once the novelty & euphoria has subsided, routine sets in and it brings with itself familiarity and mundane. Commitment love replaces attraction love. As you get to know each other, the flaws surface and might lead to disillusionment. You may stick to the relationship for the sake of commitment, but deep down you are emotionally dissatisfied. In the long run, it will only lead to resentment. If you wish to salvage, then you need to rekindle the magic. But if nothing works, maybe it's time to reassess and make a tough decision.
3. You eat differently
If you are someone who lives to eat and your partner eats to live, it can be a cause of friction. You love to taste the world on your plate and share the flavors with your partner and he/she is content with a simple rice bowl, then both of you need to "cook a comfort food and eat in the same plate".
4. Your brains are different
You love having intelligent conversations, drool over world cinemas, and mull over international politics. On the contrary, your partner is a simpleton with a very limited outlook and intelligence, it may not work out as expected. It is easy to overlook these differences initially, as love makes you turn a blind eye to everything else, but as time passes, these differences crop up and will affect other aspects as well building up dissatisfaction. If you cannot accept these differences, it's time to introspect.
5. They aren't the picture they paint
In the early stages of the relationship, you may be attracted to your partner because of certain perceptions, qualities, and traits. However, as time passes, it may come to you as a revelation that your partner isn't who they portray themselves to be. There are stark differences in your perception and their reality and might lead you to question their genuity and rethink your whole equation. Their fake or showy nature will cause problems in your relationship making you drift away from them.
6. You view life differently
Walking down the aisle and exchanging marital vows is what you have in mind, but if your partner is only looking for a dalliance, it is a deal- breaker. You may want to lead a life on the road but your partner is content sitting at a desk. If there are differences over fundamental life goals like marriage, parenting, etc and arriving on a middle ground seems a distant possibility, the relationship will only become a burden and it's best to take a separate route.
7. The Bull and the Pig(Bullheaded or pigheaded)
A connection thrives when both partners are level headed. It may even work when one person can balance the seesaw. But if you are both stubborn and obstinate, and neither wants to back down, the alliance is bound to break. If neither of you is willing to take one step back or mend ways, there is no point in staying together and causing further damage.
8. The cat and the dog
Disagreements are an integral part of relationships. Even the most mature couples may have minor tussles now & then. But if you are perpetually at war with each other and a parley is impossible, cohabitating is an arduous journey. And if arguments take an abusive form, it is best to head to the exit. In such a case, separation is the best option.
9. Your sexual needs are different
Sexual compatibility is seminal to a happy relationship. If your needs and drives are mismatched, it can create problems. If you love experimenting in the bed, whereas your partner prefers vanilla, it is going to lead to frustration and discontent. Openly discussing each other's needs and preferences can help in ironing out the differences. But if differences continue, there is no point in nurturing the discontent.
10. Your spending habits differ
Money is one of the primary reasons for causing stress in relationships. A miser and a spendthrift cannot dwell together. Both will bear the brunt of each other's conflicting personalities and your source of joy will become their fountain of sorrow. Even if you do accommodate, the basic differences will always lurk and rear their ugly heads, spawning unhappiness.
11. Your schedules differ
Imagine you are a doctor who works round the clock and your partner works in a petroleum refinery. If your work schedules vastly differ, and matching them becomes demanding, then cracks are bound to surface. At such times, it is important to set aside dedicated time for each other. How will the seed take root, if it isn't watered regularly?
Factors like giving each other space, compatible lifestyles, health & wellness also play a vital role in maintaining harmony.
To sum up, every relationship needs nurturing. Differences are bound to crop every now & then, but it is up to you how to navigate bumpy roads. Having a partner on the same plane makes life an enjoyable journey. Incompatibility will only cause mental and emotional drain. It is alright to be selfish and give precedence to your happiness, even if it involves moving out of an unhappy partnership.