How to flirt using these 7 psychologically proven strategies?

Ryan was at a party one night, standing by the bar with his friends. From the corner of his eye, he noticed a strikingly beautiful woman. His heart skipped a beat and he wanted to make the move. As he took his first step towards making an acquaintance, an alarm blared in his mind and froze him in his tracks. He just didn’t have the skills to approach and flirt with her. Resigned, he went back to enjoying with his friends, but deep down he felt like a wimp.

Have you too been in similar situations? Many times, the very idea of approaching or flirting with the opposite sex seems like a daunting task. Not everyone is a pro at the game, and those who venture down this path, sometimes fail miserably. But, do not worry if you are new to the game or just want to increase your chances. We have compiled a list of psychologically proven strategies, that will help you sail smoothly over choppy waters.

Read along to know more:

1. Eye contact

Eye contact is one of the most important strategies in flirting. Appropriate eye contact can set the stage for the rest of the play to unfold. Make casual eye contact with the person you are interested in. Keep it subtle because you do not want to make the other person uncomfortable or give stalker vibes. Steal glances and keep checking them out casually now and then. Once they have noticed you, gaze at them briefly to send across your message, while not appearing like a creep. An eye contact lasting for more than 4 secs is a sure sign that they have noticed you. Eye contact with a sly or a subtle smile is a green light that you have piqued the other person’s interest.

2. Approach

How you approach also acts as a decisive factor for the flirting to continue. If your approach is met with a cold shoulder, that’s the end of it. But did you know that the direction of approach is crucial in setting the tone? Do not approach men from the front, as men dislike it and women dislike being approached from the sides, as it is considered an invasion of personal space, and this fact is backed by research. Also, when you approach someone, make sure you radiate a genuine and sincere smile, as it conveys honesty and sincerity.

3. Set the conversation rolling

Now that you’ve made eye contact and approached correctly, it’s time to get the ball rolling. Ditch the cheesy one liner and go for the real talk. Get to know the other person. Be curious and ask about what they do, their likes, common interests, and so on. Keep the conversation flowing. Be witty and humorous, it is one of the greatest weapons in your arsenal. It creates your impression as a fast thinker and having intellect. And flirting should be fun. Compliment her on her dress, or the purse she is carrying. Praise him for his dressing sense, his watch, or his hairstyle. Be confident in your body language as well as your vocal tone.

4. Body Language

Body language that indicates openness and availability is the most attractive. Keeping a smiling face, open or uncrossed arms and legs, an upward and attentive gaze are signals that the other person has a genuine interest in you. Also, lean in when you are flirting, as it reduces the distance between the two of you and allows you to touch lightly and make subtle affectionate gestures. But make sure you don’t invade their personal space. Also, notice if their body is touching yours subtly. It conveys interest and willingness to explore.

5. Mirroring

When two people are attracted to each other, they subconsciously tend to copy each other’s movements or gestures. This is called ‘Mirroring’. So, when you mirror someone or vice versa, it highlights that you have sparked their interest, and the feelings are mutual.

6. The Color Red

Red is the color of romance and evokes passion. Wearing red can get you noticed more easily by the opposite sex, and this is psychologically proven. This can be attributed to human evolution as many animals like baboons or birds display bright colors to attract a mate. Also, if you are sporting red attire, it shows confidence and awareness that you will stand out in the crowd. So next time you are out to attract a mate, then don your stylish reds.

7. Confidence

And here is the last one, confidence. Confidence is the only factor that makes the difference in your flirting strategy. You need not be the most handsome or the richest man on the planet to flirt successfully, but if you employ basic strategies like smiling and being relaxed and confident, you are sure to receive the coveted attention.


Now that you have equipped yourself with the necessary armory, it’s time to go out and conquer your fears. Remember, rejection is a part of this process, but take it in your stride, reflect on what may have possibly gone wrong, and work on it. Know when to make an advance and when to bow out. Practice flirting often. After all, flirting, by definition, doesn’t have to be serious at all. So, go out there and enjoy the process.